Do You Smell That?

When someone we loves dies, we hold on to the memories that we have of them to keep them close to us long after they are gone.  My visual memory really stinks.  When I play the game Memory, I really should just call it Good Guess.  However, if they had a scratch and sniff version of the game, I would dominate, Smellmory? I would also do well with a sound related memory game.

I have some smell related memories that take me WAY back.  Every time I make grape Kool-Aid, I'm immediately transported back to the late 80's.  I'm sitting on my babysitter's counter and I'm helping her make Kool-Aid.  Once we were finished I would get a bendy straw from the octagonal straw box with Snoopy on it.  I remember what my Grandma Maguire's house smelled like and if I ever catch a wiff of something that smells similar, I get a warm fuzzy feeling and think of her.  I also think of her when I smell spearmint gum.  Her purse and a drawer of the buffet in their dining room always smelled like spearmint gum.  I remember her smell and the sound of her rocking chair in the living room when she would rock me if I spent the night and couldn't sleep.  I also think of my Grandma Ferguson when I visit my Grandad and open the middle drawer of her dresser.  It smells like makeup and perfume and just smells like her to me.

When I was pregnant with Grant, I started using cocoa butter early on.  I had been warned by a few experienced moms who told me that sometimes the stretch marks appear faster than you'd think and in places you wouldn't expect and while I wasn't obsessed with preserving my body, I figured I'd take their cautionary advice.  Because all of my memories of Grant are based on how I felt for him, ultrasound pictures, dreams I had for him, and the few moments we had with him after he was born, it is important to me that his memory stay alive in my life.  Today when I got out of the shower, I thought I would treat my legs to some moisture (moisturizing isn't something I do unless you can write messages on my skin in dry skin or I'm feeling fancy).  I got out my bottle of cocoa butter, squirted some on my hand, and immediately was filled with good thoughts and "memories" of my Grant.  I smiled for two reasons, I was able to smell that smell without being filled with sadness and the magic of Smellmory still worked for that particular smell.  I hope I never lose that.