Wooooah!

Ok, the title is my best impression of someone riding a horse or driving a carriage.  Sometimes I have to say that to myself, Woooooaaah Cara.  This isn't something new.  I believe I've posted about this before.  I'm so guilty of wanting to rush to the next thing and I'm afraid I miss the here and now as a result.  So I figured, one of the best ways to get yourself under control and get some accountability is to tell other people.  I don't want to always hit the fast forward button.  I want to enjoy today.

It started this morning when a friend posted a photo of a gorgeous fall scene.  Immediately, I had this intense desire for it to be fall.  To have pumpkins and mums on my porch again and to make things with pumpkin and cinnamon in them.  But the reality is that it is March, not October.  So my challenge is to figure out a way to enjoy March 7 with the same passion I enjoy fall days or the Christmas season.

I don't very often do this, but I want to hear from you.  What things do you do to enjoy the seemingly mundane days?  Or if you suffer from the same thing I do, how will you begin to try to live differently?  I'm not sure how, but I'd like to add a bit of the passion I have for the end of the year to the beginning and middle.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Orange Smilies

I just had a realization a few moments ago while peeling a navel orange.  For most of my life I've stuck to apples as my preferred fruit.  When I was a little girl my mom would peel the apple and then cut it up (she could even do the whole peel in one piece, impressive!).  I don't remember eating oranges as a child and I remember my mom saying she didn't enjoy peeling them.  I've never been the kind of girl who would grab a piece of fruit to take along as a snack.  Recently, I've discovered that I can eat a couple of Clementine oranges to ease my queasy stomach.  Because I know you can't get them all year long, I decided I'd better start buying regular oranges (also the price on regular oranges was better than the little cute minis).  Yesterday when I peeled my orange, I ended up with a lot of stuff under my nails and the orange was pretty well pulverized by the time I got to the eating part.  Then I tried it again today and it made yesterday's experience seem clean.  Then, it hit me.  This is why fruit people (people who like things other than apples and strawberries) cut oranges up when they bring fruit to share.  I used to think that was odd and maybe just a little lazy, but really it is genius.  Why would they spend so much time wrestling with the dumb orange when they could slice it up.  Plus who doesn't love a good orange smiley?

Do You Smell That?

When someone we loves dies, we hold on to the memories that we have of them to keep them close to us long after they are gone.  My visual memory really stinks.  When I play the game Memory, I really should just call it Good Guess.  However, if they had a scratch and sniff version of the game, I would dominate, Smellmory? I would also do well with a sound related memory game.

I have some smell related memories that take me WAY back.  Every time I make grape Kool-Aid, I'm immediately transported back to the late 80's.  I'm sitting on my babysitter's counter and I'm helping her make Kool-Aid.  Once we were finished I would get a bendy straw from the octagonal straw box with Snoopy on it.  I remember what my Grandma Maguire's house smelled like and if I ever catch a wiff of something that smells similar, I get a warm fuzzy feeling and think of her.  I also think of her when I smell spearmint gum.  Her purse and a drawer of the buffet in their dining room always smelled like spearmint gum.  I remember her smell and the sound of her rocking chair in the living room when she would rock me if I spent the night and couldn't sleep.  I also think of my Grandma Ferguson when I visit my Grandad and open the middle drawer of her dresser.  It smells like makeup and perfume and just smells like her to me.

When I was pregnant with Grant, I started using cocoa butter early on.  I had been warned by a few experienced moms who told me that sometimes the stretch marks appear faster than you'd think and in places you wouldn't expect and while I wasn't obsessed with preserving my body, I figured I'd take their cautionary advice.  Because all of my memories of Grant are based on how I felt for him, ultrasound pictures, dreams I had for him, and the few moments we had with him after he was born, it is important to me that his memory stay alive in my life.  Today when I got out of the shower, I thought I would treat my legs to some moisture (moisturizing isn't something I do unless you can write messages on my skin in dry skin or I'm feeling fancy).  I got out my bottle of cocoa butter, squirted some on my hand, and immediately was filled with good thoughts and "memories" of my Grant.  I smiled for two reasons, I was able to smell that smell without being filled with sadness and the magic of Smellmory still worked for that particular smell.  I hope I never lose that.

Ho hum

So, this week, Josh and I got whatever awful viral stomach thing is going around.  It started on Sunday for me.  I actually was somewhat relieved on Monday morning when the fever, aches, and chills arrived because I was concerned on Sunday that maybe my throw up marathon was pregnancy related.  In the time between losing Grant and getting pregnant again, I had said something similar to: I would take throwing up every day if I could be pregnant again.  Something like that.  Well my 8.5 hour throw up marathon made me regret those words.  In that time between pregnancies I also said I would like twins and even prayed in that direction.  After recently babysitting sweet, well behaved twins, I realized how busy and how many babies twins really are.  For both of those things, I'm just trusting that God knows me better than I do and knows what I can handle with his help....

So back to being sick.  Josh took amazing care of me on Monday and then he joined me in being sick in the wee hours of the morning Tuesday.  Tuesday we were both off of work.  We were a pretty pathetic looking couple.  

Today we both are feeling a bit better, but we are not back to normal yet.  My mind is going stir crazy, but my body doesn't have the energy to keep up.  I attempted to get some fabric ready for an apron and didn't get very far. 

 

Now I think it is time for a nap.  :)

Smoothies

Last night I wanted a smoothie. Because Josh is an awesome guy, he quickly volunteered to make us some. When I registered for our blender, I didn't read any reviews, I didn't use one prior to registering, I picked one that looked cool. Well it looks awesome, very retro, but it is so loud. So loud that you kind of squint when using it, the dog lays her ears back and looks at you as if to say, "Please make it stop!"

Josh began to blend and then all of the sudden he turned off the blender and ran to the basement. When he emerged from the basement he was wearing these, gun muffs. This is why I love him. He wasn't really protecting his ears, his goal was to make me smile...it worked.

Here We Go

When I became sure that God had given me the words Trust and Hope for 2011, I thought that he was wanting my trust and hope for the process of getting pregnant.  As it turns out, he wants me to trust and hope in him no matter what.

On Groundhog's Day, we found out that not only were we getting an early spring (thank you Phil) but that we are going to have a baby (Phil didn't tell us that).  I took a test at 4:30 am, well because I was up and had to go the bathroom and didn't want to waste good urine.  While I waited for the test to register, I prayed that God would help me not be disappointed if it was negative and to just trust that he was in control.  When I peeked up at the counter, I saw the most beautiful word: Pregnant with no Not in front of it.  I was still sitting on the toilet at this point, shocked and excited.  This is where I tell you that our master bath is not really master, it is more like the mini bath.  You can barely open the door to the bathroom while sitting on the toilet, basically just enough to get a roll of toilet paper if someone leaves you stranded.  Anyways, I "opened" the door and shoved my face in the crack and proceeded to yell Josh's name.  When he finally came to I shouted, "We're having a baby!"  To which he said, "WHAT?!"  If you know him, you know how this sounded sort of a laughing, excited, you've gotta be kidding me but I hope you aren't kind of What?!

In the moments after we got the news we'd been hoping for so many months we realized that sheer excitement can quickly turn to fear.  We finally got the news we wanted but now we had to trust again.  I guess I hadn't thought forward enough to think that once we were pregnant again there would be more fear to overcome and more trust required.

When I used the due date calculator on Babycenter to figure out when our little one would be due to arrive, I was reminded again of the trust that God wants from me.  October 12 is the due date for this little one, two days before Grant's due date.  As my one friend put it, this all seems so redemptive.  I'm excited to have an October baby after all, but scared about the milestones that will be the same this time.  I think about June and start to get anxious.  But the truth is, it doesn't have to be the same this time.  It doesn't have to end the same way.

So why have we chosen to tell people so early in the game?  Well there are several reasons, thanks for asking.  :)

• We are really excited.
• We are also scared and we want/need people to be praying for us and for this little guy or girl.
• Why not?  We waited the "recommended" amount of time the last time before we told people and ended up losing our baby.  We were so thankful for the support we had from our family and friends and even strangers.
• This little life is our child, we are so excited and feel so privileged at the opportunity to be mommy and daddy to this little one.  If something happens and I only carry this child for a number of weeks, we want those weeks to be a time of celebration, excitement, and anticipation.  And if everything is fine and I'm able to carry him or her to term, I don't want to look back and be disappointed that I was fearful, disconnected, and unexcited because I was afraid something would happen.  

So here we go.  Now you know our secret.  Please pray with and for us and for our little one as we continue to trust and hope in what God is going to do.  

Hope and Trust

So my cousin and I decided to get matching jewelry together to showcase words we are trying to focus on in the new year.  At first I was sure that my word was hope but after hearing from God multiple times through other people, the Bible, and instances that were definitely not just coincidental, I decided that trust was my other word.  To read about how I came to the trust idea read my post called Theme.

We each ordered the open circle bracelets from Lisa Leonard Designs  with our respective words on them and they came last week.  I LOVE it.  I think it is such a nice visible reminder for me that I can have hope and trust in God in the new year and always.  Plus, it is a great reminder of the special bond I share with my cousin.  Here is a picture of each side of my bracelet.  (ooh...and when you sign up for Lisa Leonard's newsletter, you get a coupon code for 15% off your first order!)